


nôtre vie en rose

by riverblujay



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Jason is lost, Nico di Angelo Speaks Italian, Piper McLean speaks French, aphrodite kids are little shits, ok i wrote this like a year ago and found it???, piper being a bilingual little shit, polyglot nico is my faavorite headcanon, so definitely not canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:30:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riverblujay/pseuds/riverblujay
Summary: jason grace and the misadventures of bilingual demigods (send help, please, they're all little shits).





	nôtre vie en rose

**Author's Note:**

> ok so i found this as i was going through my google docs and??? there were sections I was going to add to it but I ended up just deleting those since it was actually almost 3k and im not that into pjo anymore (at least, i haven't kept up w/toa but i was spoiled for tbm) and i figured id just post it for shits and giggles.
> 
> i wrote this like a year ago bc AP French (TM)
> 
> *the end notes got real long bc im a nerd and provided translations/links to the songs for y'all you're welcome*

Piper smirked at Jason as they sat side by side at the table, with Percy, Annabeth, and Hazel sitting directly across from them. _Oh, no,_ he thought. _What now?_

“Hey, Jason. _Si tu étais un pirate, est-ce que tu apporterais ton perroquet sur cette épaul-ci,”_ she said as she touched the shoulder right next to her, “ _ou cette épaul-là?_ ” and then draped her arm over him to touch her hand on his other shoulder as she said it.

“Piper, you smooth fucker,” the son of Poseidon said exasperatedly. Annabeth just chuckled next to him and Hazel fanned herself. Piper just smirked.

\----

_”Je suis un ananas.”_

“Piper. Why. What are you even saying?”

“Jaaaaasoooon, come on. You gotta check out this _québecoise_ kids’ TV show, it’s the weirdest shit I’ve seen in my life.” Jason frowned. “Where- How did you even get access to the internet here?”

His girlfriend gave a smile that made him very glad he wasn’t a monster or fighting against her. Whoever had started the whole ‘Aphrodite kids aren’t scary’ thing had clearly never met an actual child of Aphrodite. They were all cheeky little shits.

Even worse, they were bilingual cheeky little shits. Stupid inherited fluency in godsdamned French.

“Come on,” She said as she started dragging him towards wherever her probably contraband laptop must be. “There’s even captions in English.”

48 Hours later, after marathoning all the episodes of _Téléfrançais_ (twice), it kind of became their thing to quote. (In English, of course. Except when there were other Aphrodite kids- the Piper and the rest of them started quoting it in French, and Jason just became lost.)

\---

It was Leo’s fault. Let it be known to all of humanity that it was Leo’s fault.

Also, demigods should probably not be allowed near social media. Or maybe just Piper. Because for all that Jason loved his girlfriend- she was _obsessed with puns._

He hadn’t had much time to notice while they were first on the quest, but in the next six-ish months Jason had mostly just hung out with Piper and Leo. Or, at least, them more than the rest of camp. (And yeah, maybe sometimes he hid out with them because he hated the expectations that came with being a son of Jupiter 98 percent of the time, and at least the kids in New Rome were used to the idea, and _gods damn it he’s rambling inside his head again._ )

Anyways.

Post Gaea and the Argo II, Leo had managed to make cell phones for demigods that didn’t attract monsters. And Piper and Percy pretty much forced the rest of the Seven, as well as Nico and Reyna, to get social media accounts. Everyone had their favorites, of course. Nico, and surprisingly, Percy, liked Tumblr the best, while Annabeth, Hazel, and Frank used Instagram the most. Reyna and Leo liked to get into Twitter wars with each other for fun (better than actual wars, Jason liked to console himself with) but Piper. Piper was obsessed with Snapchat. And she had roped Jason into her obsession just a little bit.

Honestly, Jason didn’t go on his phone that much, and really only used it if he needed to call, or sometimes text, one of the others. 

And Piper’s propensity for puns had been able to take on a whole new level. 

“Hey, Jason, did you see that thing that I posted on my story?” Piper asked him as they were walking towards the campfire after dinner. 

“No,” Jason replied. “Why?”

“You should really check it out,” she said cryptically, then _winked_ at him.

He had all of the sing-alongs to contemplate what exactly the daughter of Aphrodite had meant, and finally grabbed his phone and opened Snapchat. Sure enough, Piper’s story showed that it had been updated, so he clicked on it. And for about ten seconds he was confused enough to let it show the picture the entirety of the ten seconds. Because it was a picture of a random cat with ‘snapchat’ as the only caption. 

The next image was a picture of Mrs. O’Leary and the caption ‘snapchien.’

Jason just rolled his eyes and chuckled just a little. Not that much. Honest. But it was a little funny. Just a little.

(He’ll deny it for forever, but Piper apparently had some sort of hidden camera set up that caught him laughing so hard he was in tears.)

(Okay, maybe it was more than a little bit funny.) 

\---

Nico staying after the war had been great. Really. Of course, it also meant more bilingual shit for Jason, but whatever. It was fine. Totally.

He and Nico were in the arena, sparring, and Nico was talking to himself or Jason. It was hard to say- because the younger boy was speaking Italian. From what Jason could tell, Nico was talking about his “totally-nonexistent” crush on Will Solace. 

“Nico, you do understand that I don't speak Italian, right? I have no idea what you're saying.”

“Uh, duh, that’s the point?” Nico retorted. If you don't know what I’m saying, you can't meddle.”

“Me? Meddle? Well,” Jason huffed as though he were actually offended, “I would never.”

“Bullshit,” the son of Hades called out. They both paused and stopped for a sip of water as Piper approached them. Nico, of course, went back to speaking Italian with what was probably another rant about something Will had done that was also probably adorable. 

Meanwhile, Piper had started practically skipping towards Jason and almost jumped on him, but stopped when she saw his sword.

“Hey,” she told him, and nodded at Nico. “ _Ça va?_ ” She asked, fully expecting no answer. But then-

“ _Eh, je me sens d’accord, franchement- ah, bien sûr, j’ai presque oublié. Ce matin, je me suis réveillé et c’était trop, _trop_ tôt, comme, un ou deux heures. Et ouais, ouais, je sais que c’est un mauvais temps pour se réveiller, alors, j’ai dormi pour… Peut-être quatre? Ouais, quatre heures plus que j’avais avant je me suis réveillé le premier temps. Mais, autre que ça, pas mal,_ ” Nico told them. Piper and Jason just stared. 

“Nico, what the fuck. You speak French?” Piper exclaimed. She and Jason stared at him in shock. The other demigod just stared back blankly.

“What? You guys realize I speak, like, eight languages, right?”

“Wait, What?” They said in unison. 

Forget _bilingual_ demigods. Now he had to deal with a polyglot.

\---

Just because Piper was a year-rounder didn’t mean she could get away with not going to school, apparently. 

Tristan McLean and Chiron had obviously conspired (maybe, kind of, who knew really) to make Piper do online school, which mostly wasn't a problem, except Jason could tell his girlfriend thought the whole ordeal was ridiculous. Especially the language credit.

“Honestly,” the daughter of Aphrodite complained, “it’s totally unnecessary. I hate doing online school in the first place, and I have to do a language credit anyways when I’m already fluent in a language?”

Jason quirked his eyebrows at her. “Piper, can't you just, like, ask to test out of it or something?”

“I mean, I guess I could just take the AP French test in May. I probably wouldn't have to study a lot either.” She gave him a bright grin and a sudden peck on the cheek. “Jason, you're a genius,” she practically shouted, and then started sprinting towards the Big House. 

\---

“Ugh,” Groaned Emma. “Who even was that girl?” 

Her friend Marie sighed in response. “I dunno. I’m beat. And I always feel inadequate when native speakers take the AP exam.” The duo glanced towards the random girl that was homeschooled, or something, and took the test with their class. The new girl was off to the side conversing with a tall, blond boy with glasses. “Wait, can you hear what they’re saying?” Both girls paused in their conversation and diverted their attention to the (probable) couple. 

“Yeah, it was pretty easy, Jason. That was a good idea. Now my dad won’t be on my back as much. And I didn’t even have to study!” The dude and the girl both threw their heads back into full-out laughter. Well, the girl was cackling. Jason- apparently- was just giggling. Still.

“C’mon,” Marie whispered, dragging Emma towards the exit. “We can go hang out at the café now, and at least die with coffee and _crêpes_ to drown our sorrows.”

“You read my mind.”

\---

When Piper and Jason got back to camp, they found Nico waiting for them near the Big House. “Hey, Piper, how’d your test go?”

“Fine,” She called back. “Yours?” Nico, for reasons unknown (since he wasn’t actually going to school), had taken the AP Italian test. 

(“But why? It’s extra work. I’m only doing it because my dad is forcing me and it’s less painful than taking the actual classes for it,” Piper had told the son of Hades over lunch one day. “Because,” Nico replied. “Well- actually, I dunno. For shits and giggles? Just… Because I can. And also, can you imagine the looks on people’s faces when a fourteen year old comes in and schools them in a test.”

The daughter of Aphrodite giggled as she remarked, “True. That would be pretty hilarious.” Nico made a face at her as if to say ‘exactly’ while he focused his attention on his food once more.)

“Pretty good. Although, most of their faces weren’t funny when they heard me doing the oral part, it was just sad. Like they realized the full extent of their inadequacy.” Piper cringed. “Yeah, same, honestly. But it was still funny, in like, a sadistic kind of way.” The boy rolled his eyes at her. “Yeah, yeah, we get it, you take great pleasure in other people’s fear of you.” Nico smirked. Piper shrugged as she conceded.

“Well,” she intoned, “You’re not wrong.” Nico gave her a _look_ , one that said _‘stop being such a smartass,’_ and there was a pregnant pause for a few seconds. Then both of them burst out laughing, and that was how Jason found them almost an hour later, with a silent _“What the fuck”_ still resting on his lips. (Their laughter would die down a bit, and then someone would crack up again, and the whole cycle started anew. 

(For such a long time, they hadn’t had anything to laugh at.)

(It was nice.))

\---

Demigods, once again, versus the internet. Jason would probably end up dying from demigod internet problems (that for some inane reason they always went to him with) before a monster.

“Jason!” His girlfriend screamed. “I think I just found the worst website on all of the internet.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? What is it?”

Piper raised an eyebrow back at him. “Okay, first of all, I am always serious,” Jason snorted, “and second- Google fucking translate. It’s just- it is literally the worst translating website in the history of mankind. How does it still exist?” Jason ended up just giving her a pat on the back. 

“Sorry, babe,” He sarcastically apologized. “I guess not all of us are born naturally fluent in another language.”

This time Piper was the one who rolled her eyes.

\---

Jason was walking through the training arena again, and he saw Piper training with Katoptris. He could hear her singing under her breath as she violently stabbed at dummies. 

_“Je veux le a, le a, le a de l’ananas,_  
_Je veux le b, le b, le b de la banane,_  
_Je veux le c, le c, le c du crocodile,_  
_Je veux le d- dauphin!_

_Je veux le e, le e, le e de l’éléphant,_  
_Je veux le f, le f, le f de la fourmi,_  
_Je veux le g, le g, le g de la grenouille,_  
_Je veux le h- hippopotame!”_

Jason approached her cautiously so he wouldn’t get stabbed. “Piper?” He called. “What are you singing?”

She rapidly pivoted towards him and suddenly his instincts screamed _‘duck!’_ almost faster than he could process. As he crouched on the arena floor, he heard the _whoosh_ of the celestial bronze blade flying through where his head would have been. Jason stood back up to see an embarrassed look on his girlfriend’s face.

“Oops,” she said nonchalantly, and walked over to where her dagger had been impaled in the wall about ten feet behind him. “Sorry,” Piper turns to say to him after she’s collected it, though her bright smirk didn't particularly show any remorse. Jason just rolls his eyes. 

“So?” He probes. “What song was it this time?”

The daughter of Aphrodite, like almost all of the Goddess’ children, had a habit of singing absentmindedly when they were bored, focused on something, or even just for the hell of it. Of course, when it came to the little shits the Aphrodite campers were, that meant most of aforementioned singing was in French. Piper, in particular, enjoyed singing songs that were the stuff of memes. Or something along those lines.

She grimaced. “Just a stupid song that got stuck in my head when I fell into the depths of YouTube.”

“Ah.”

 

\---

 

“Jason! Jason, Jace, come on, it's not that bad, you’ll be fine, Will’s on his way, just-”

“Piper. Piper. I’ll be fine,” Jason tries to assure her, but he’s slurring his words and that’s probably not good. _I feel useless,_ she thinks. _Everyone else could probably do something, but I’m just a sitting duck._

“Hey, Piper…”

“What?”

“Y’know how you’re always singing random shit and stuff in French?” 

“Yeah?”

“Can you sing to me? Until Will gets here, that is.” Piper sniffles just a little bit. “Yeah, alright,” she concedes. Piper starts out soft, the lyrics audible but only barely, only loud enough for Jason alone to hear. 

_“Des yeux qui font baisser les miens_  
_Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche_  
_Voilà le portrait sans retouche_  
_De l'homme auquel j'appartiens_

_Quand il me prend dans ses bras_  
_Il me parle tout bas_  
_Je vois la vie en rose_

_Il me dit des mots d'amour_  
_Des mots de tous les jours_  
_Et ça me fait quelque chose_

_Il est entré dans mon cœur_  
_Une part de bonheur_  
_Dont je connais la cause_

_C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie_  
_Il me l'a dit, l'a juré pour la vie_

_Et dès que je l'aperçois_  
_Alors je sens en moi_  
_Mon cœur qui bat_

_Des nuits d'amour à ne plus en finir_  
_Un grand bonheur qui prend sa place_  
_Des ennuis, des chagrins, s'effacent_  
_Heureux, heureux à en mourir_

_Quand il me prend dans ses bras_  
_Il me parle tout bas_  
_Je vois la vie en rose_

_Il me dit des mots d'amour_  
_Des mots de tous les jours_  
_Et ça me fait quelque chose_

_Il est entré dans mon cœur_  
_Une part de bonheur_  
_Dont je connais la cause_

_C'est toi pour moi, moi pour toi dans la vie_  
_Il me l'a dit, l'a juré pour la vie_

_Et dès que je t'aperçois_  
_Alors je sens dans moi_  
_Mon cœur qui bat.”_

\---

“Hey, remember when you were mildly incoherent from blood loss and actually asked me to sing to you instead of everyone telling me to shut up?”

Jason sighed. “How many times are you gonna bring that up?” She smirked at him, punching him softly in the arm. “Forever, duh.” He rolled his eyes but smiled fondly.

“So…?”

“Right!” She exclaimed. “I have a different song to sing you,” Piper said with slightly mischievous eyes. Jason just motioned for her to continue, knowing it would be better to just get whatever shit she had planned over with.

Her voice started with a whisper, but only built up to a soft volume.

“ _Qu’est-ce que c’est, qu’est-ce que c’est, c’est nous partout dans la forêt. Qu’est-ce que c’est, qu’est-ce que c’est-_ ” Jason cut off her stupidly endearing meme song. “Piper, I swear-”

“What about the _crêpe_ song? _On va fasse des crêpes, des crêpes, car-_ ”

“PIPER, I SWEAR, TO LITERALLY ALL THE GODS-” 

She cut Jason off again. “ _Téléfrançais, téléfrançais! Bonjour, Allô, Salut! Téléfrançais, téléfrançais, visites et parlez avec nous!_ ”

“Piper. Babe. Please.”

“ _C’est formidable, exceptionnel. C’est excellent, sensationnel. C’est merveilleux, c’est magnifique, téléfrançais FANTASTIQUE!_ ”

“Piper,” and here Jason said the one french word he knew by heart, “ _pourquoi._ ”

“ _Téléfrançais, téléfrançais. TÉLÉFRANÇAIS._ ”

“You done now?”

“ _Oui,_ ” she smiled and responded softly. “ _J’ai fini._ ”

Jason had lied- he knew one other phrase in French. “ _Je t’aime,_ ” he whispered to her.

The daughter of Aphrodite leaned in and kissed him.

“ _Moi aussi._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> okay here we go kiddos
> 
> 1) nôtre vie en rose- based on the song piper sings to jason, (la vie en rose) by edith piaf- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0feNVUwQA8U  
> 2) Si tu étais un pirate, est-ce que tu apporterais ton perroquet sur cette épaul-ci, ou cette épaul-là?; pick up line translated into french, translation: [said standing next to someone] "If you were a pirate, would you put your parrot on this shoulder [places hand on shoulder next to them] or /this shoulder [reaches arm over to other shoulder]"  
> 3) Je suis un ananas- I am a pinapple  
> 4) québecoise- adj., used in relation to something from canada [québec is the main region of french speaking canada]  
> 5) Téléfrançais*- french-canadian tv show that's fucking wild- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL378CC89D89B647BA  
> *note: there are not actually english captions, I was just taking an artistic liberty  
> 6) snapchat/snapchien- based on a pic I saw on tumblr (I cant find it rn) but basically the pun works bc cat in french is "chat" and dog is "chien"  
> 7) Ça va?- can basically be used for lots of things, but in this context (the most common usage as well) it translates to a casual "how are you?"  
> 8) Eh, je me sens d’accord, franchement- ah, bien sûr, j’ai presque oublié. Ce matin, je me suis réveillé et c’était trop, _trop_ tôt, comme, un ou deux heures. Et ouais, ouais, je sais que c’est un mauvais temps pour se réveiller, alors, j’ai dormi pour… Peut-être quatre? Ouais, quatre heures plus que j’avais avant je me suis réveillé le premier temps. Mais, autre que ça, pas mal.  
>  roughly-> I'm ok, I guess- oh, of course, I almost forgot. This morning I woke up way too early, like, one or two in the morning. And yeah, yeah, I know that's a bad time to wake up, so I slept for... four? Yeah, four more hours than when I woke up the first time. But other than that, not bad.*  
> *not a direct word for word translation bc translating Doesn't Work Like That  
> 9) a lot of people do know what crêpes are but if you don't they're a french pastry/version of pancakes, maybe??? idk it's hard to describe but you can look it up if you want  
> 10) when I took the ap french test last year there was a native speaker there and while she wasn't perfect (she struggled a little w/the listening section too*) I imagine being an aphrodite kid makes piper really fucking good at french)  
> *the ap french test has 4 (technically 5) sections- reading (multiple choice), listening (multiple choice), reading/listening combined (multiple choice), writing (1 essay and 1 email), and speaking (a cultural comparison and a conversation w/an audio track).  
> 11) I don't think I need to explain the google translate thing (use wordreference it can conguagate verbs for you and gives better translations (it doesn't do full sentences but it's a great hw resource, basically a dictionary)).  
> 12) an alphabet song that makes more sense in french tbh translation of the lyrics i included (the rest are available in the song description)) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCvR47BkfM4)  
> Je veux le a, le a, le a de l’ananas, (I want the a... for pinapple)  
> Je veux le b, le b, le b de la banane, (I want the b... for banana)  
> Je veux le c, le c, le c du crocodile, (I want the the c... for crocodile)  
> Je veux le d- dauphin! (I want the d- dolphin!)  
> Je veux le e, le e, le e de l’éléphant, (I want the e... for elephant)  
> Je veux le f, le f, le f de la fourmi, (I want the f... for ant)  
> Je veux le g, le g, le g de la grenouille, (I want the h... for frog)  
> Je veux le h- hippopotame! (I want the h- hippopotmus!)  
> 13) see "la vie en rose"  
> 14) "Qu’est-ce que c’est, qu’est-ce que c’est..."- a song from telefrancais ep. 3  
> 15) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG7fxXjLWig&t=84s song my ap french teacher showed us, basically a meme  
> 16) lyrics to telefrancais op  
> 17) pourquoi- why  
> 18) Oui, j'ai fini- yes, I'm done  
> 19) je t'aime- I love you  
> 20) moi aussi- me too
> 
> yikes this got long


End file.
